, , , , ,

Impossible crossovers intrigue me.

The most famous scene in The Godfather features movie mogul Jack Woltz waking up to find the head of his prize racehorse in bed with him. The head got there because Woltz refused an offer from the Godfather’s consigliere, Tom Hagen.

Hagen spent hours in Hollywood before meeting with Woltz. I imagine that he spent his time usefully.

Maybe Hagen hired local private eye Jake Gittes (Chinatown) to find out how best to get to Woltz — for instance, which of Woltz’s servants would be most vulnerable to bribes, blackmail, or beatings.

Since the Godfather derived much of his power from his ties to judges and politicians, maybe Hagen struck a deal with Who Framed Roger Rabbit‘s Judge Doom, providing the simoleons that let Judge Doom take power in Toontown.

Maybe Hagen drove past Norma Desmond’s mansion on Sunset Boulevard, encountered (and made a note to corrupt) L.A. Confidential cops Ed Exley and Bud White, had a face-off with fellow mafioso Bugsy Siegel (Bugsy), or ran into Eddie Mannix (Hail, Caesar!) and Howard Hughes (The Aviator, Rules Don’t Apply). Yes, the latter three are real people as opposed to fictional movie characters, and The Godfather had a Siegel analog in Moe Greene, but if the movies can mix reality with fiction, so can I.

And I haven’t even touched characters from A Star is Born or Mommie Dearest!